Trouble

     I am worried about my finances. I don't receive unemployment any longer and I still don't have a job. I have just received my student loan along with the government grant money. It's really not enough. Once that money is gone, I have no more money and it goes quickly.
     The thing that I have to have is a car. I have one that is financed but I can no longer afford it. I want to buy a cheap car that is good on gas so that I can drive it back and forth to school. I don't have a lot of money for that and I am trying to keep my rent money in the bank for the months in-between my next student loan and government grant.
     I need other things too and I don't know what to do. I need to get my eyes checked and I need new glasses but I want contacts. My dog needs a to go see the vet. and I am already running low on money. I am really worried about the money and what happens when it runs out and I don't have a job.

     I'm keeping my prayers going up and I'm keeping my eyes on the prize. I just want to get through college the best way that I know how. It's been a long road and I know it is going to get longer. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Dog Days

     I got a little dog last Friday from a lady on Criag's list. He is a chihuahua with a chocolate colored coat with some cream color outline. I named him Pinto Bean. Pinto will be two years old in March and he may weigh 8 pounds soaking wet with rocks in his pockets.
     Pinto is the sweetest dog once he gets to know you. It took him two days to finally trust me and now we are friends. He likes to ride in the car. I've taken him everywhere with me for instance, to two different friends of mine homes where he has played with their dogs. Pinto loves on me a lot and show his appreciation towards me for taking care of him.
     Last night he started coughing and I thought maybe he just had something on his throat because he had just ate some dog food off the floor. He sleeps with me too, but didn't cough any while we were sleeping. This morning however, he started coughing again with intensity and it worried me. I went to Wal-Mart and purchased him some children's allergy medicine in hopes that would help him stop coughing. It takes about thirty minutes to work but I had to go to school.
     Once I left and got to school, my roommate text me. She told me how Pinto was crying, urinated on the couch and tore up the window blind once I left this morning. I have to get him a crate because he is suffering from some emotional stress when I leave him alone. I believe that someone has hurt him in the past; he likes the way that I rub on him and take care of him. He is possibly scared that I will leave him and never come back. We will work this out because I love him and he is my best-friend. 

ADN Program

    Today was an okay day at school. I got the things done that I needed to get done and had a pretty good time doing it. My colleagues and I are all still waiting on the decision from the college about the ADN Program, that’s the Associate Degree in Nursing.

            My colleagues and I went to Forsyth Tech Community College this evening to attain the requirement session for their ADN program. We were there for two hours just to find out that the scores are so high to get in that none of us felt like we could even get enough points to get considered for the fall nursing program. We were amazed at how high the scores has to be to get in at Forsyth.

            I still have my fingers crossed for Davidson County Community College. I’m praying that there will be enough people that won’t get all the requirements met that they have to do before they can start in the fall for the ADN. That would give me a chance now to get started.

            I really don’t feel like I have a lot of time to wait another year before I can get into the Nursing Program. I’ve been thinking about a plan B but really haven’t come up with one yet. I want to be a nurse. I’ve always wanted to be a nurse. I care a lot for others and I know I’ll be a good one. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed and I’m going to keep praying that I’ll get in this fall.

Always Something!

There is always something to stress about or to do, so it seems. Maybe it’s just that I keep things going and I believe that there’s always something to do or to be continuously stressed out about. But I have a new issue and feel like I’m stuck between a rock-and-a-hard-place on this one.

            The new issue is about my own place. I’m not too sure now that I can afford it on my own. I hate that but don’t have too much of a choice or so it seems. I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of weeks now and I get stressed out when I think about my finances, if that’s what you want to call it.

            Now I have exhausted my unemployment and I’m not receiving any more money from the government. The only money I’m about to have is from the student loan and government grant that I am still waiting on. I pray I get my check sometimes this week or next week. I suppose that I am going to have to take some kind of part-time job now.

            I wanted my own place and still do. The plan for now is to stay with my friend and her husband until the fall when I receive my next student loan and government grant. My goal is to try to find a part-time job before the fall and then move out. I’ll have the extra money that I need for gas and personal things.

             I also plan to go ask for more help from the state and try to get some food stamps. I don’t have any children and I’m not disabled, but I’m really hoping that I can get some help with the grocery bill.

            I’ll have my own place again one day but until then I have to make-do with what I have. Here I am again living with someone else and going by their rules. I hate it! But right now I have to deal with it. I have other things to do as well and that takes money. I’m trying to get through these college years any way that I can.

Sleep Day, Not!

Today I wanted to have a sleep day but that didn't happen. I kept hitting my snooze button on my alarm cell phone and resetting the time on it to go off at a later time. It's tough to do college work late at night and then have to be back up early for a class at eight in the morning, but I am getting my work done on time.

The class that I don't like in college is my Psychology class. I have learned something from taking that class and that is how to spell Psychology all by myself. That subject isn't for me. I use to think I'd like to be a Psychologist but now not so much. I don't like all the "theories" that comes from different Psychologist. It's as if they are arguing about what they think human behavior or development is. I have to learn who and what each familiar Psychologist does and believes. Nothing is concrete or factual. I just don't like it.

My favorite class, however; is Biology, Anatomy and Physiology И. I really enjoy that class. It’s about my body and the things that are in my body. It’s more concrete and factual. Although, there are some theories about things in the body about how things work or why things work the way they do, but mostly only facts. It gets tough, at times with the many different names of the body parts but I still enjoy it very much. The lectures are long and sometimes boring and it’s really hot in the room but it’s all good for me.

I’m actually glad that it’s not sleep day and I didn’t sleep in. I am proud of myself for getting up against my own will and getting myself to school. I love going to college and the hard work that comes with it; it’s what keeps me going. I know in the future, all this hard work will pay off

Other days

      Today was a depressing day for me. First, I was woken up by the people I'm staying with and that was fine with me. They turned the TV on and left, leaving me to watch what was showing. The title to the movie that was showing is “Tommy Boy.” It’s fairly old but very funny. I watched this movie when it was new with my ex-husband.

     I am still in love with my ex-husband and miss him a lot. We were together for six and a half years. The reason we are not together now is because he didn’t want any children and I did. That alone was worth losing him and everything else that we had worked hard for, at the time. But now I look back and it wasn’t worth it because I still don’t have any children. We’ve been split up now for almost eleven years.

     I can‘t figure out why I still miss him and long to be with him now.  Is it because I’m lonely and getting older? Am I crazy? I think maybe I’m a little of both. I’m afraid that what I felt for him, I won’t be able to feel for someone else. I don’t know what to do about it. I know my attitude tells others that I’m not interested. That’s partially because of how I feel about my weight.  

     Others can pick that I am not completely happy with myself from the invisible vibes that I put off when they are around me particularly men. I have a plan and I hope I can stick with it this time to do something about my weight. I know I have to make myself happy before I can get with someone else. I know that someone else can only add to my happiness but not make me happy. My plan starts on March the 1^st and I’ll be posting the results in weeks to come.